fortynine

Have to leave Rolff at a dog hotel tonight since we're leaving for 11 days in the US tomorrow. I ache to leave him.

fortyeight

I heard a lot of interesting things today. And I wore cute earrings. So let me lend you an ear.

fortyseven

Still just worried. About everything and nothing. Crap.

fortysix

It was a nice and staged portrait. But then he decided I needed a kiss. I probably do, so this photo seems appropriate.

Plans are being made and things are sorted out, yet I have this gnawing worry in the pit of my stomach, and I can't even tell what's wrong...

fortyfive

So I didn't take any pictures yesterday. Someone else did. Wonderful day with friends in our garden, but the photos make me gasp. God, I'm fat. Something needs to be done. Pronto. And I need a haircut.

fortyfour

We've invited people over for a summer party tomorrow- Today has been all about the preparations. It's been a good day but damn... I'm beat.

fortythree

Green silk and pearls, and many, many purls. A day with a lot of sun an not enough done. Procrastination anxiety.

fortytwo

It's a bright summer day outside, and I have been out there, but somehow I've been more inside my head than anywhere else.

fortyone

Our greenhouse is an unexpected little piece of heaven. I never thought I'd enjoy it so much. Today I saw how much it reminds me of me. Built out of the old inner windows of the house, it's bits and pieces from the past that come together for a new and different use. Not all is intended to withstand the deteriorating forces of the cold outdoors though, so sometimes you can see new cracks in the surface paint. But it holds together nicely all the same, and is rather cute come to think of it...

forty

Didn't feel pretty despite favorite summer dress in summery weather. "Your boobs look great honey!" He says. So here's a boob shot.

thirtynine

No. Happy clothes didn't help. Today everything is going wrong. Puking dog, broken plate, rain, headache, anxiety...

thirthyeight

I didn't think I cared, but it is a wedding after all. I can't not look.

(Hm... close-up of nose from beneath... not a good angle.)

thirtyseven

Headache. The "wonderful" summerday is way too bright.

thirtysix

Work colleagues came here for a meeting in my garden. Efficient but comfortable. And three poppies suddenly bloomed this morning. I'd like a little more of everything from today, but less of me. I feel (am) fat, but otherwise good.

thirtyfive

A surprisingly good workday. Hair is redder again. Feeling deceivingly productive.

thirtyfour

Bad hair day, but good bag day. Polka dots and favorite summer dress also good. Moodwise - not so great. I feel stuck and stressed at the same time.

thirtythree

All work and no play makes Lisa... bored and restless.

thirtytwo

Not the most flattering of days. Dirty and exhausted after working in the house and in the garden.

thirtyone

World Wide Knit In Public Day. Yarn, friends, a friend's baby, knitting, coffee, laughter and togetherness.

thirty

In the bathroom mirror chez the kinda-parents-in-law. Newly showered, nearly sleeping. It wasn't really supposed to be a good day but I guess it sort of was.

twentynine

Wonderful evening laughing. Rocking outfit with polkadots matching polkadots and my knitted cardi. Had help taking the photo around 11pm in pouring rain. Out of focus, but more representative of the night than the close-up of "happy, tired" that I snapped myself on the train home.

twentyeight

Rain ruined my hair - again.

Camera without batteries.

This is the Only shot of me taken today - and with my lousy phone.

Says nothing about a colleague's dissertaion, the late night celebrating his PhD degree or the mood it got me into. Well maybe a little - can you see that glint of inspiration in my tired eye?

twentyseven

Wet weather curls my hair. I hardly slept last night and it's been a busy day.

I'm feelin' it.

twentysix

After sunshine comes rain. Today is more about other things and other people.

twentyfive

It's a pretty good day. Kind of lonely, but I guess that's partly by choice.

Maybe.

And yeah, we need a lawn mower.

twentyfour

It could've been a photo of sweaty, aching limbs after an attempt at a bike ride or one of flea market bliss. But the most surprising thing today is that I am busy crocheting.

I blame the blurry bad photo on webcam laziness...

twentythree

I wanted to show how I wore both polka dots and stripes today and feeling pretty good. Several deleted photos of me being just plain fat later, I feel fatter than when I walked out with the camera. Still pretty good, but feeling ugly.

twentytwo

A good day. An outside day.

Dusk light at the end of a sunny day seems appropriate. The memory of blinding bright.

twentyone

Full day in seminars on architectural research in general. Inspiring!

twenty

Workday with no dog sitter. Dog tagging along means a lunch break walking. It was the best part of the day since the rest of it sucked. Didn't feel welcome at a meeting I was invited to. Didn't fit in to the project I'm a part of. Felt very small. Felt very misplaced. Very angry. I have a long way to go apparently...